Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The discussion on overcoming fear at today’s gathering was great! First, we talked about what fears, struggles, and issues we have now or have had. Here is the rough list we came up with.
- Multiple kids (as in, can I handle another one?!)
- Transfer to hospital
- Fear of judgment
- Losing it in the middle of labor
- What if I don’t know I am in labor
- Sick baby
- Baby dies
- Huge baby
- Long, difficult labor
- Baby’s position
- Cord prolapsed
- Wrapped cord
- Over confident in my ability
- Not being able to do it
- Breastfeeding trouble
We discussed these fears. We asked why we have them and where they stemmed from. Then we brainstormed some ways of coping and/or solutions. Some of these are just distractions from the real problem. But, at times, that is what it takes.
- Take a walk.
- Meditation, visualization.
- Discussing with close friend, care provider, religious leader
- Eating- chocolate
- Give it six weeks (with nursing problems) But with many issues, time can usually help. Patience.
- Birth art (We did this at the gathering!)
- Educate ourselves.
- Find the root of the fear. Why is this an issue for me?
- Relaxing. (bath, breathing, read)
- Focus on the good. Especially, with pregnancy. There is GOOD in it!
- Take it slow. If you are overwhelmed, take it as you can. Bit by bit.
- Do all we can for our health.
This was an uplifting discussion. I felt it could apply to struggles other than what we face in pregnancy and the delivery.
There is power in conquering or surviving hard challenges. After triumphing a natural delivery one mom at the gathering this morning said, “I no longer doubt my ability to do anything!” How big of a statement is that?! We are strong! When we face something hard and get through it, we are STRONGER!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I think it is important to interview more than one. Ask around for references. Look online. You can call them on the phone and get a feel for them, narrow your list, then interview them in person. Here are some questions to consider:
1. How much do you charge?
2. What do your fees include? What do I get for my money? (Do they do prenatal visits? Postpartum visits? Birth photography? Classes?)
3. What do you feel your role is at my birth?
4. What is your philosophy about birth?
5. What is your experience?
6. What do you feel the father’s role is at birth?
7. Do you try to be a voice for the couple, or let them speak to the nurse and doctor for themselves? (I feel it is NOT the doula’s job to tell nurses and doctors what they want. They can offer their knowledge, but the decisions and voicing them is the couple’s responsibility.)
8. What are the benefits to hiring you?
9. Do you have back-up? Have you missed many births?
10. Are you available for answering questions before delivery and postpartum?
11. When do you come to help and how long do you stay? Will you come to my house?
These are just a few that I can think of right now. Please comment if you have gone through this process and have helpful advice. Likewise, please comment if you are a doula and have helpful advice for couples searching for the right one.