Monday, May 28, 2012

Birth story of baby Wesley

I had decided I was going to be pregnant forever.  Well not really, but I could not see an end in sight.  During the last few weeks of the pregnancy I lost sight that there was going to be a baby in my arms soon.  I was anxious to be physically done with the pregnancy for so many reasons. Yet, I could not imagine having one more child to take care of.  I was completely unsure of my ability to take this on.

One week before my due date things started going wrong.   Saturday, April 28, was my official due date.  It was a horrible day.

Thankfully after I called my mom and told her what was going she said, "I will be there Monday."  I have never depended on help so much.  I do not know what I would have done without my Mom's help over the next two weeks.  TWO WEEKS she stayed and cooked, cleaned, drove, and CARED for my family.  That is not a small thing.

As the next week rolled forward, I was full of anxiety.   I was losing sleep.  I had to pray constantly.  I also told myself to relax and be calm continuously.  I had to get rid of the feelings that kept my heart racing.  I needed peace.  I was so unsure of how this was all going to work out.  When did I have time to have a baby, take care of a baby, or take care of me after having a baby?

During these hard days I listened to a lot of inspiring songs that helped lift my spirits.  I also looked at rocks with uplifting words on them from my blessingway.  There were many poems and quotes hung on the wall in my bathroom.  I read them many times a day.

Then my husband and I came down with a horrible cough.  I mean the kind that burn in your chest and for me, my whole tummy hurt when I coughed.  My husband seemed to be getting worse.  Fevers, chills, etc.  I was not getting any better myself.  Bad timing.

I had been contracting for several days.  They would be close then stop.  I was kind of afraid to go very far from home, yet they continued to never amount to anything.  They seemed to pick up in the evening and stop during the night.  Saturday morning the 5th came.  I woke up and realized I had been pregnant for the longest amount of time in all my 7 pregnancies.  I was having no contractions.  So, I went yard sale-ing with my mom!  She drives a nice BMW, which I decided is not what you want to be in when you are looking for yard sale deals.  "How much for these old scratched bed frames?  $60!?  What?"  We did not find any great deals.  Later that afternoon I went shopping some more with my mom.  She had been there since Monday and it was Saturday.  She was stir crazy and wanted to get out.  I was discouraged and upset that I was coughing.  I needed a change of scenery and to get my mind off things.  We went to a few stores, Savers, Big Lots, Ross, and Walmart.  woo hoo.  I bought a cute baby outfit and a robe that would be perfect for after the delivery.  I was contracting that day.  Nothing that slowed me down too much.  I was still walking and talking through them.  They continued through the evening.  Still, never getting any more intense.  I was getting my kids to bed and looking forward to going to bed myself.  I knew they would be gone again by morning.

 I put the kids to bed and my husband had already gone to bed.  He was fevering and feeling weak.  It takes a lot to knock him down and especially not to help me out in my overdue condition.  I luckily convinced my husband to take some IB profin.  I got ready for bed.  I had a moment where I wanted to get rid of the anxiety of getting as sick as my husband.  We had the same virus/bug and he was a day ahead of me in it.  I looked at him and said, "I'm done!  I'm not getting sicker!  I am not worrying anymore.  I am putting my game face on or I will never have this baby.  No time will be a good time, I just need to do this!"  Then I went to bed.  As I was laying in bed I continued to have the same small contractions I had been having off and on for days, maybe weeks.  I was very tiered.  I wondered as I listened to the 10:00 news if I would be able to stay awake to watch SNL.  Around 10:15 I had a contraction and the baby did some large movements right after.  Then another and the same thing happened.  It seemed the baby didn't like something or was uncomfortable.  With the third there was a sudden drop or pop and I felt the baby move down quite a bit all at once.  Then there was no movement.  I was concerned.  What happened?  Why did the baby stop moving?  What was that pop feeling?  Is the baby okay?  I immediately reached for the phone and called my midwife, Chris.  I told her what had just happened and asked her to come over and listed to the baby.  While talking with her, I felt him move a tiny bit again.  That helped me to feel  better, but she still was coming over to listen to him.  I got up and put a robe on.

She arrived around 10:30pm.  In those minutes that passed between the phone call and her arriving the contractions had gotten a bit harder.  She listened to the baby.  He was fine.  I asked her if she would check me while she was there.  She did, looked at us both and said, "I'm not going anywhere.  You are a seven."  She started carrying in her supplies.  I called my doula, Twyla.  She was excited about the "super moon" out that night.  The biggest full moon in 20 years!  When she picked up the phone I said, "Are you ready to rock 'n roll?"  She said, "You're so funny!  What is going on?"  A contraction started and I said, "Just a minute."  It was a good one.  I finally tossed the phone to my husband.  He told her to hurry over. I decided to go to the bathroom and then to get in the water.

As I climbed into the tub a contraction came and it was intense.  "Here we go."  I thought.  I also had thoughts like, "This is what I remember.  Oh, this is going to hurt.  I don't want to do this."  As the contractions continued I struggled to find a more comfortable position.  I finally settled on sitting with my right side touching the right side of the tub while my husband (Who was thankfully feeling the effects of the medicine) pressed my left hip towards the right which put counter pressure on my right hip as well.  That was working for me.

I wasn't thrilled about having a Cinco de Mayo baby.  I figured the baby would come after midnight.  The support group was sure that the baby would be here before then. 

He was moving down.  The contractions were very effective.  I moaned, wimpered, cried, and coughed.  I was reminded to slow down and keep my tones low.  Soon, I began to grunt.  There were long breaks in between the contractions.  I was a little hesitant to push, but really wanted this to be over.  As I pushed I reached in to feel where he was.  I felt a bulging bag of water not very far in.  I knew he was close.  I pushed again.  I felt his head come out.  I wondered why the rest of him was still in.  It seemed like a long time in my mind.  Then relief!  The baby was out!  MY BABY was in my arms!  Daddy had caught him!  He was beautiful!  I was so happy to meet him!  I was so happy to hold him!  I was so happy to not be pregnant!  I was so happy my husband was able to catch!  I was so happy everyone I needed was there!

 The baby was born at 11:14pm.  My husband stepped out and notified my mom (who was down stairs) and she came right up.  He also called his parents and they headed right over.   The room was bustling with energy.

The baby really wanted to nurse right away! After nursing in the tub and Brian cut the cord (side note, the cord was very short.  It also seemed to pulse for a long time.)  I got out and moved to my warm bed.  Chris looked over the baby and all was well.  Baby weighed 8lbs 10oz and was 21 1/4" long.  His head circumfrance was 14 1/2.  There was positive energy in the room.  Everyone left. 

In the morning the kids came in as they woke up.  They all had such fun reactions to see the baby was here!

It had all worked out.  Through all the stress and worries, a beautiful blessing came.  I don't think there is an experience in life that encompasses as many feelings as birth does.  From the discouraging, overwhelmed, hopeless, scared, feelings to the joyful, I conquered all, I'm so in love, thankful, bonding, I DID IT feelings! I had a perfect birth experience through a not-so-perfect time.  I am so grateful!

Wesley, the morning after his birth.

The "Super Moon"


Jenny said...

I remember some of those "end of pregnancy" feelings. oh boy.

so glad it all worked out! what a beautiful baby. congratulations!

Natalie Jan said...

That is so beautiful! It's incredible the range of emotions we can experience, often packed closely together. I love that you were able to go through them all and that you sought and received comfort and strength from God. Congratulations. Natalie Alexander Stevens